Everyone Vs Rinoa
by Gravie
Summary: This is pretty doofy, I dun deny. Either way, it's a Quall, and a Selphie+Seifer too. Rinoa dies again, many a time. R&R!


~**~Author'sNote: Rinoa is bad

~**~Author'sNote: Rinoa is bad. This is short. Have fun. Okay, I just felt like writing a ff alla the sudden, so.. this is just plain weird.. Have fun.~**~  
  
Rinoa yawned as the day dawned upon her.. She was in a decent mood, (as decent as an ugly git can get I suppose..) as she sat up (with aid from her hands.. she never really was one for fittness..) and yawned. After she had had her daily dose of morning affirmation, she tucked away her make-shift doll of Squall (made of a pink sock, twine, & markers) and strolled out into the hallway. She lolled quite slowly, as it is quite difficult to walk in high-heeled slippers.   
  
Upon arriving at the Galley, she found Zell, Selphie, Seifer, Squall, & Quistis all gathered around the table. She grinned half-heartedly as she sat down next to Squall, who, obviously unwilling to let Rinoa sit next to him, shoved her off the edge of her seat. He stared blankly at her, "Rin, what are you _doing _down there?" She stared, scowling menacingly at him. "Ugh. Squall you are impossible. Here, help me up." She held out her hand for him to help her up, but he simply stared through her, as though she was a ghost, and nothing more. "My forehead hurts," was all she got in reply, and he resumed eating his choco-breakfast.   
  
She mumbled some undesirable words as she got up. Sitting down onto the chair, she heard a distinct **SQUISH**. "THERE's Cid's gruel," voiced the over-enthusiastic Zell. She didn't even bother moving it.. Hey, it was a free seat warmer, what more could she ask for. Rinoa decided to clear her mind (not exactly a difficult task to perform..) andstarted munching on some cold cream at the edge of Seifer's plate. "Mmph. This ish reawwy guud, Seif." No one could surpress the boistrous laugh that was inevitable in Rinoa's case.. She stared, lost.  
  
"Uh, Rin, dear," whispered Selphie. "That's, uh.. that ain't cold cream..teehee! It's butter-saturated bacon fat! Teehee!" After the initial shock, and hurling, Rinoa returned at the table: her uplifting spirit trampled. Just then, a knife came whooshing by her elf-like ear with surprising accuracy.   
  
"Aw ship," utterled Lem, the barracuda. "Missed. Hey Eivarg, got any particularly mean dust bunnies?" Eivarg graciously handed Lem assorted dust bunnies, old peanuts, stale bread crumbs, moths, dust, and dirt, and the barracuda, giant grat, carpet roll, and human sat at their table, plotting to kill Rinoa with that Eivarg had given them. The closest they got, however, was messing up Rinoa's hair, bruises, gouges, and permenant mental disorders.

  
Quistis and Squall were sitting next to each other, sharing the breakfast bagel & choco-meal, and goggling googishly. This made Rinoa scream madly; pull out the remaining hair on her head; trip and fall into more bacon fat, steaming gruel, the floor, and Seifer's lap.. Seifer obviously unwelcomed this gesture, and konked her unconcious with Faithful Hyperion.   
  
The day progressed quite slowly. Rinoa had woken up to find herself on the floor; no one had taken any notice of her, and just assumed she stayed put. She awoke with quite a few more gashes, gouges, bruises, moldy-smells, moths, and dirt surrounding her, however.. Not to mention the inevitable shock of being bald.. "It's probly genetic," consoled Selphie, "or perhaps it's due to the fact that you did pull it all out this morning during breakfast." The idea was shrugged off as Selphie walked back towards Seifer. He was still reluctant to give in, but she was making progress by constantly addressing him as "Hottie Cap'n, sir" or "Regal one" or even the occasional "Seifer Augustus." 

Rinoa walked silently towards her dorm, although the flies were out in full blast, and she kept up the attempt to bat them away with flailing arms. This, however, served but one purpose: to get everyone away from her, not to mention the notion of Rinoa finally losing it.  
  
She walked into her lavishly (yet poorly color coordinated) dorm and sat on her rock hard mattress. Coddling her Squall-doll, she heard the familiar electronic voice, "Hey pighead, you've got mail." This had always perplexed the feeble mind of Rinoa as to why it addressed her as pighead.. Whenever she asked Squall (who set up the computer & internet services), he simply changed the subject. She had always shrugged off the idea, and assumed that all GOL services addressed everyone that way. (~**~AN: GOL: Garden Online) It was from Quistis: a first.  
  
**Rinoa, **

Good day you ungreatful git. FYI: Exam this afternoon. Meet in the back of the Garden, next to the fishery pool & the Great Forest promptly 1 o'clock. Don't need to bring anything.. considering your GF left you pathetic loser, for our side. You're late: you die… literally.. I know some nasty Grats..  
~*Quistis*~

Anyways, Rinoa was there at one o'clock, ("Hm, on time for once, eh Rinoa?") right where Quistis had told her to. Zell (who was air-boxing again.. letting out some repressed anger we all suppose), Seifer, Squall, Selphie, Pirate Cid, and of course, Quistis, were all there. Rinoa smiled, weakly. 

"So, this exam.. What do we hafta do? Haven't we taken enough bloody exams to last us a lifetime, Quis? I mean, really.. This is a bit much, doncha think?" inquired the unsubstantial Rinoa.   
  
"Well, Rinoa, this isn't exactly an exam. You see, we've arranged a get together with a few friends of ours, GFs, repressed anger ("right, Zell?"), a barracuda, and a few others.. Now, all you hafta do is stand on this platform, yonder, above the pool. All else will be taken care of!" explained Quistis. Rinoa did as she was bid, and stood on the platform, nervously doing her nails.   
  
All at once, the six GFs attacked Rinoa atop the feeble platform. Zell, on the other hand, had decided to practice his punch-jab-kick-scream-eat hotdog-in-between routine on her. Lem had leapt up from the water, and had begun severing the scrawny leg of Rinoa. Seifer had begun blasting her with Hyperion, and Pirate Cid was ruthlessly pelting her with steaming hot gruel. He'd decided for this use, and this use only, that he would infact, make his notorious dish.   
  
Amid all of this glorious excitement, and girlish screaming from Rinoa, Ybba Uy happened to be passing by. Quite intrigued, she flew closer and saw that everyone had begun mercilessly killing Rinoa. How could she miss out on such an opportunity! So Ybba Uy summoned her faithful companions, Knib, Iraknib, Eruza, and a few others. They happily assisted the others in torturing Rinoa through savage pokings, and stings. Wee!  
  
Before Rinoa was quite dead, Squall ceased the peltings, and walked up to the pool where Lem was gnawing on her arm, and dragged her out of the pool. He carried her up to the balcony where she'd made him reject Quistis, and threw her off, through the window.. Which was, infact, the second story window! With a heave, and a ho, and a mighty throw, he threw Rinoa out the window. On her way falling hundreds of feet, she was gouged, pricked, jabbed, and bruised by many a pointy rocks. She then fell into the lake, where Lem's friend, Recrem the barracuda, began eating her.   
  
Right as there was just a thread of life left in feeble Rinoa, Recrem threw her out of the Talimn River, and into the Dreiw Forest. It is there that Rinoa died a wretched death through pokings by the Egavas Monkeys & Kiwi Tiki, assisted by Fleetscut.

  
And everyone at the Garden rejoiced in singing a jolly song of "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!". Her room was converted to a well-decorated shrine to Lem, Ybba Uy, & Eivarg. Of course, the interior décor of Rinoa was removed, and re-color-coordinated, and the foul Rinoa stench was de-stenched. All in all, everyone was pretty darn happy that she was gone.. (That's surprising?!)

The End.. teehee.  
  
~**~AN: Weird eh? Yah.. Not as much detail into this one. I just had a sudden urge to type something.. like a ff. *shrug * . Lemme know what yall think of it by R&Rin! ~*~


End file.
